Redesign your day for happiness
You worked hard and spent your time and mental energy doing what you needed to do. You should feel happy about what you’ve accomplished, but as you get in bed, you realize, “Something’s missing…”.
The missing piece you’re thinking about is your “Me” time — the time you spend doing what recharges your mental energy. Don’t worry. You’re not alone, as many people are in the same situation. We live in a chaotic world and rush through each day without thinking properly about what we want.
The Good news is you can improve your situation by being more intentional about how you spend your day. Here’s how you can make your upcoming days more enjoyable.
1. Identify what you want
2. Define your daily activities
3. Refine your schedule
4. Communicate your needs
1. Identify what you want
First, you need to identify what you want from your day. The easy way is to ask what you want to do but didn’t have the time or energy to do it today. Here are some possibilities:
Watching movies or series,
Time with family and friends
More sleeping times
Exercising
It can also be something about how you feel rather than activities. For example:
Sense of peace that you don’t need to get stuck in traffic jams
Sense of security from a nontoxic environment.
The relief that you’re growing as a person
Whatever it is, you need to pinpoint what you want. You can’t reach your goal without a goal. You’ll also need to be intentional with them because each activity requires more than the others. You must take those requirements into account and ask helpful questions to ensure it’ll happen. The clearer the answer, the easier you’ll be able to do them. For example:
Going to the gym requires you to be at the gym and proper clothes. Which gym is the best fit for your needs? What types of exercise do you want to do? What time do you want to go? How will you pack your clothes?
Reading books requires books, tablets, or phones. Which books do you want to read? Do you prefer indoor or outdoor space? Are you ok with loud ambiance noises or people walking around while you’re reading?
Relaxing before going to work in the morning. How long do you want your session to be? What will you do during that time? How much sleep do you need to have a fresh morning?
To help you understand better, here’s an example of my story:
I started working remotely recently, and it didn’t take me long to realize I yearned for the social conversations that I used to have. My focus and productivity level significantly dropped due to the issue. Fortunately, I have an online gaming group that I used to hang out with, and I always felt recharged spending time with them.
The main challenge for me was they played around 6 - 8 am my time because of the time difference. I couldn’t wake up early enough to join them because I needed 8 hours of sleeping time to operate properly but I normally went to bed around midnight.
2. Define your daily activities
All actions require two things to do: time and energy. Unfortunately, We have limited resources each day. What usually happens is we spend our finite resources on what’s in front of us without planning. Most of these activities are what we think we need to do as responsibilities. Things like:
Works
House chores
Grocery shopping
Taking care of your family member
Social parties (Yes, a lot of people think parties are their responsibilities)
On the other hand, there is another type of activity, the ones we want to do. These actions, while also requiring our time, replenish our mental energy. These include but are not limited to
Hobbies like music, movies, games
Exercising and Meditation
Time with loved ones
Alone time
People don’t see the second group as important as the first group because they don’t have immediate big impacts on their lives and thus rarely prioritize these activities. However, just because we can’t see the short-termed impact doesn’t mean they aren’t important. Overlooking their benefits is the reason we aren’t happy with our life.
We’re human beings and not robots. Our lives are much more complicated than work and responsibilities. If you’ve ever played a game called The Sim, you’d probably know that we have multiple types of needs. Money may provide shelter and food on the table, but it doesn’t fulfill other necessities. Things like friendships and creativity are also part of us. Lacking them will leave a hole in our hearts, a void that is impossible to fill with cash and social status.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with being responsible. They’re mandatories to our lives. The problem is when we solely focus on them, we lose track of our time and energy and end up exhausting our resources. Once that happens, we don’t have any minutes or power left to do what we want. The key here is to balance them gracefully.
Each one of us will have different answers to this question. There’s no right or wrong here. Only you know what you truly want. For example, Personally, I made a promise to myself to spend time with my dad even though it always extremely drained my energy (we don’t have the best relationship in the world). On the other hand, playing games with friends and reading books help me recover from mental fatigue.
3. Refine your schedule
This is when we use the information we got from the first two steps and refine our daily life. At first, you may think it’s impossible to do. How can I cut my working time or stop taking care of my family members? The answer is, “No, you don’t.” Refining your schedule means making little changes to your lifestyle — small details, when accumulated, can make a big impact on how you feel each day.
First, there’re activities we believe we have to do but don’t really need to. We can cut them out and save ourselves valuable time for something more meaningful. Here are some examples:
Answering emails and text messages immediately (or at all outside of working hours).
Participating in the gossip circle (and now that we’re talking about it, do you really want to be part of that group?).
Checking every restaurant to decide what to eat.
Of course, there’ll be times we need to do some of these activities. When that happens, it helps to streamline our process so we use less time to finish them. Be creative and logical, and think about your tasks and how you can optimize your process. For example:
Calling colleagues instead of emailing them may be faster and more time efficient when there’s a lot of information at work. It reduces miscommunications, and you don’t need to spend 2-3 hours waiting for a reply that may or may not be helpful.
Shopping in bulk instead of doing a daily visit to supermarkets can save you a lot of time from commuting. (It’s also cheaper). It’s also helpful to make a list of what you need before the trip. This way, you won’t waste your time at the mall and will free your memory with something more important.
Prioritizing what work needs to be done first each day. You’ll be in a clear space and power through your tasks. You’ll work in peace and don’t have to worry about if there’s something more urgent needs to be done at 5 pm that forces you to work overtime.
Back to my story, here’s what I did to make my goal happen:
I decided to readjust my routine so I could wake up at 6 am. First, I cut all distractions that I could think of, phones, Youtube, and games during my office time. Secondly, I set a sharp shutdown time at 6 pm, which means I’m not allowed to work after 6 pm even if I want to (Of course, there’s an exception in case of emergency).
This daily deadline forces me to focus on my work since I know I don’t have any backup plan. It also provides ample nighttime for me to wind down to have a good night's sleep which allows me to wake up around 6 am, thus being able to join my online friends.
4. Communicate your needs
Depending on what adjustment you make, there can be effects on the people around you. And a lot of time, you’ll need their cooperation to make it happen. To keep the transition smooth and sustainable, you need to communicate what’ll happen to others. They’ll understand where you are coming from, but more importantly, they’ll feel respected. And people tend to open up and listen to you because of how you make them feel.
Note that how you say is as important as what you say. Focus on what you want and the reason behind it. Try your best not to blame others for what you’re feeling right now. I’d recommended quickly writing down what you want to tell them beforehand. It’ll help you see if there’s something you can improve. Don’t try to be smart, be polite, concise, and honest. Here’s my example:
My plan was to do whatever it took to focus and finish all my work by 6 pm. Therefore, my first step was to avoid using my phone. I paid too much attention to it and used to reply to text messages immediately, even if it was a casual chat.
I decided to mute my messenger apps while working. I still put the phone on my desk but set a dedicated timeframe to check it. I’d quickly reply to them that I got their message and would get back to them once I was done with my work. If it was important, I replied to them and informed them that I’d start putting my phone away during working hours and encouraged them to call me instead if they needed me.
What I did helped me transition into my new lifestyle without any conflicts. I found myself working a lot better due to having the social interactions I want and a well-structured routine that fit my needs.
5. Summary
To feel happier and more satisfied, figure out what you really enjoy doing each day to relax and recharge your mind. Sort your daily tasks into two categories: things you must do and things you want to do. Then, adjust your schedule to make sure you have time for both. Finding a balance between responsibilities and enjoyable activities is the secret to feeling fulfilled and happy.
