Jock Zonfrillo: An Inspiration of Kindness and Resilience

This article is tributed to Jock Zonfrillo, a man I deeply admired.

A couple of days ago (30 April 2023), I was devastated by the news of Jock Zonfrillo passing away. He was a master chef Australia host and one of my favorite hosts in all programs I’ve watched.

I never looked up his biography or even thought about it. For me, how he presented himself in the show was more than enough for me to not only like but admire him as a decent human being. Jock was a good-looking, highly skilled, and successful chef. But the thing that made me look up to him was his kindness and resilience.

Death brought us apart, and the grievance will always be with us. Yet, We who are still breathing can benefit tremendously from Jock's legacy, his kindness, and his resilience. The world would be a much better place if we could learn from how he led his life.

Kindness that lasts beyond a lifetime

Masterchef Australia is a show where contestants go through intense cooking challenges to win the top prize. In past seasons, if a contestant burned their hand or cut themselves during the competition, they had to take a break to get first aid, which cost them valuable time. No one was allowed to help them.

But Jock was different. He jumped in regardless of what people would think of him. Yes, he was a good judge, but he was also an amazing friend that you'd know he’ll be there when you need him. His personality shone brightly both on and off the TV show.

“Thanks for making me constantly laugh and being there when I needed to cry.” — MasterChef Australia judge, Andy Allen

“In that time, you showed me what true excellence looks like both in the kitchen and outside of it; your kindness and generosity, the many lives you’ve lived, the way you carried far more on your shoulders than most could ever know. — MasterChef Australia judge, Melissa Leong

If you want to know who is kind, one of the clearest ways is to look at those who passed away and see how people talk about them. Jock’s news broke everyone’s heart. People mourn about how amazing he was as a human being. How you treat others will stay close to their hearts after you’re long gone. Kindness is an eternity.

Sometimes it takes a painful experience to teach us to be kind to others. I have my fair share of harsh experiences, and I’m sure we all have our own struggles. But It’s more helpful to focus on learning from them and don’t use them as excuses to pass the pain forward. For me, I just don’t want anyone to go through and feel the pain I once felt in my past since I know too well how terrible it feels. That’s why I try to be kind to other people.

Don’t forget about yourself

As much as being kind to others is an important quality in a person. From my experience, a much underrated and crucial skill we need to learn is how to be kind to ourselves.

If we kept judging and saying harsh things to ourselves every time we made mistakes, we would end up destroying our self-confidence ( and that happened to most people, me included). It’s funny how we talk trash to ourselves while we’re kind and supportive of others.

We need to learn to understand the reality of life, that it’s a continuation of decision-making and it’s totally normal and acceptable to choose the wrong option. Instead of saying, “I’m such an idiot,” try saying, “I’ve made a mistake, it sucks, but it’s ok.”

Then ask yourself how you can learn from it. It’s the same way Ray Dalio, the famous investor, approached his life and distilled his life lessened and created a checklist on how to make a better decision. We can’t change the past, but we can use them to craft a better future.

Tough life creates a great man

Before the news broke out, I believed that Jock Zonfrillo had it all. He was charming, funny, kind, and successful. But then I learned about his life and came to realize how resilient he was. He used to struggle with drug addiction since he was a teenager, lost his job at a Michelin-star restaurant, and his restaurant almost went bankrupt. But he kept going. He shared his story with news.com.au about his drug use.

"It's embarrassing, and it's embarrassing for my parents. But I'm thankful to have been able to come through the other side of that, and I'm thankful for all the people who helped me at the right moments."

Jock told the Adelaide Advertiser in 2014, reflecting on his time in the industry. Said that the combination of his previous drug use, the antisocial hours of hard work, and the hospitality industry's intense culture impacted his personal relationship significantly.

"Two divorces, a handful of friends because you don't have the time to spend with them, so, therefore, you can count your close friends on the one hand, and a deep mistrust of most people,"

Despite all of this hardship, he kept going, and that was probably why he made it in the end. We can’t change what happened, but we definitely can learn from it.  In fact, without making mistakes in the past and owning them, we couldn’t possibly shape a better future. How can we know if an ingredient will work in the recipe we’re trying to create if we never tried using it before?

Make Every Moment Count

Jock passing away also remind me how short and fragile our life is. We don’t even know if we’re going to wake up tomorrow. It’s a harsh truth, but at the same time, it makes our time so valuable.

I have experienced near-death experiences twice in my life now. They taught me not to waste my time being shy to tell others how I feel to others. However, with work and chaos in the world, I sometimes forget about doing it.

We all know that we can’t talk to dead people. We can’t tell them how much we love them or how they changed our life. We can’t thank them or say sorry to them. It’s too late once they’re gone. And missing those opportunities can traumatize us in the worst possible way.

So if you’re thinking about someone right now, reach out to them before it’s too late. It doesn’t matter how they’d react to you. Your job is to let them know how you feel. Don’t live a life full of regret.

Life is Short, Be Kind and Live with a Purpose

Jock’s story taught us an invaluable life lesson. In the end, it’s not about appearances, titles, or money. People remember how you make them feel. By being kind to other people around you, you already make this world a better place.

There’ll always be challenges waiting for us in the future, but Jock showed us that with resilience and being kind to ourselves, we can overcome them and get what we want.

Jock, we had never talked to each other before, and it was my dream to visit you at your restaurant. It broke my heart that I’ll never be able to do that anymore. You’re such an inspiration to me. Thank you for teaching me how I want to live my life. I promise that I’ll use my time wisely and make this a better world. I promise.