Understand your Stress

"Are you feeling stressed out lately?"

My physiotherapist asked me when we were in the middle of a rehabilitation session. Being caught off guard, I didn't answer her question. Instead, I asked her why she said that. Her answer was clear: "Your muscles are extremely tense, and it's been like this for many months."

I always knew that I'd been accumulating stress since I was young. I thought as long as I could keep calm, no one would know I was experiencing much stress.

This conversation was my wake-up call to take my stress issue seriously. I started researching about the topic. To my surprise, as I delved into articles about stress, many were overly simplified and based on many assumptions. I decided to dig deeper and record what I learned from this curation process.

Understanding Stress

Stress is emotional or physical tension created by what we perceive as challenges, demands, or threats. When we feel threatened, challenged, or overwhelmed, our body tries to embrace the impacts that would happen. This is also known as the "fight, flight, or freeze response."

While stress is a protective mechanism, we rarely face life-threatening situations as our ancestors did in our modern lives. Consequently, we don't require constant stress.

Chronic stress can significantly impact our health, leading to increased risks of strokes, heart attacks, and circulatory issues. Moreover, it plays a crucial role in burnout and depression, affecting both our personal and professional lives.

Common Misconceptions:

Many people mistakenly believe that stress always has a clear and identifiable trigger. However, some stressors may remain hidden in our subconscious, causing constant tension without realizing it.

Relying solely on interventions like deep breathing, yoga, self-awareness, or meditation may not always be effective, and insisting on using them can create a sense of shame and frustration. Here are some thoughts that a sense of shame could create:

• "What's wrong with me?"

• "This should work. Why it doesn't work for me?"

• "I'm not even able to do these things correctly."

Understanding the nature of stress better and developing appropriate coping strategies for ourselves is essential. One common pitfall is learned helplessness, where people feel overwhelmed by stress, believing that their efforts are never enough.

Effective Stress Management:

A first step towards managing stress is recognizing the potential consequences of letting it persist. When we acknowledge the toll it takes on our lives or the lives of those around us, we gain the motivation to seek a better balance in our daily routines.

Instead of unintentionally shaming ourselves or others by dismissing stress with simple remedies like "just take some deep breaths," embracing a more compassionate approach is essential. Seek support from someone you feel comfortable and safe with, allowing you to explore your fears and stressors more effectively.

Practical Strategies:

Here are some practical questions, suggested by Dr. Chris Palmer, Director of the Department of Postgraduate and Continuing Education at McLean Hospital, to begin managing stress effectively:

• "Is the way that I'm living my life right now OK?"

• "Am I at least OK?"

If the answer is yes, it may indicate that you're coping well and moving in the right direction. However, if the answer is no, try to pinpoint specific aspects causing distress and consider what you can control to improve the situation. Remember, you don't have to tackle everything at once; small steps can make a significant difference.

Real-life example

After researching, I realized I needed to be more aware of how I'd led my life. To be honest, I'd been running away from many fears. One of them was "the fear of rejection."

I always fled from situations that allowed me to make new friends. I'd be either shy away or quiet most of the time. I didn't make any attempt to open up to them. I already lost before the game started.

So, when I asked myself, "Is the way that I'm living my life right now OK?" the answer was a clear "No." That began my journey of talking to new people and making more friends. In my case, I decided to join gathering events, have Zoom calls, and join a gaming Discord server.

I still have a long way to go, but one thing that occurred was I didn't feel as hopeless as I used to be. I've become more hopeful. And the more people I interacted with, the more comfortable and less stressed I became.

Conclusion:

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but understanding and managing it is essential for our well-being. By recognizing its impact and adopting practical coping strategies, we can lead healthier, more balanced lives. Seeking support from others and showing compassion for ourselves are crucial components of effective stress management. So, let's take the first step towards a more stress-resilient life and nurture our mental and physical health.