How I recover from Losing All my Savings from Catfish Experience

Yes, I lost all my savings to a catfish two years ago.

I met an amazing, caring guy on an online dating app. He was too perfect to be true, almost like a prince from a fairy tale. I got hooked. I started investing with him. As day goes by, a thousand turn into ten thousand. The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the corner of the room, looking at my empty bank account and crying my eyes out.

It was challenging and emotional. It took me two years to rebound from it mentally, emotionally, and financially.

Recover Financially

The world runs on the money.

Money is a commodity that we need to survive. Without it, we can kiss goodbye to the necessities of life: no food, no clothes, no house, no more life security.

The first thing I did to take charge of the situation was create a "Budget plan." I gathered income and expense information and put it in the table to see my situation clearly. I was shocked at how much I spent on gaming and dining. I also moved back to stay with my parents to cut more of my expenses out for the time being. This way, I could start rebuilding my savings account. Knowing that I wouldn't need to borrow people's money gave me the relief I needed in this hardship journey.

There is a universal rule when it comes to money, "Spend less than what you make." Even when I was at the bottom of the pit, as long as I kept climbing up, everything would get better.

It doesn't matter where you are. What matters is where you're going.

While money is a significant element of this experience, I've found that it's much easier to recover my financial situation compared to my mental health.

Recover mentally

When you got catfished, you didn't only lose your money. You also lost your sanity.

You would find your self-doubt level skyrocket. You are constantly in a fight or flight mode, and it is exhausting to live that way.

What helped me was the scariest thing I could think of, "Share my story." It wasn't easy. I started with my parents, then my friends, and finally, with strangers. I realized it was me who looked down on myself. I didn't have any more information other than my thought, "Everyone is going to judge me. I'm going to end up being alone." So, when I heard them say they were sorry and asked how they could help me, it made me realize I had been too hard on myself.

When we contemplate about what happened, we only see things from our views. Sharing our story allowed us to have more information and see the situation in a more well-rounded manner.

We make better decisions when we have more information.

However, life isn't always reasonable but relatively rational.

Recover emotionally

The most challenging thing about this experience was relearning how to trust people.

I was afraid someone was going to hurt me again. An emotional scar from the experience created a wall that stopped me from connecting with others emotionally. This only worsened the loneliness issue I was having.

I need to thank my English teacher. He told me a simple yet powerful truth. People are complex. It is unfair to generalize everyone based on the actions of a few people. Instead, we can develop criteria for determining what is acceptable and what is not in our relationships with others. For example, I found asking for money in any way and being disrespectful are unacceptable behaviors, and I try to avoid people who show these traits.

We can't control others, whether it's their action or opinions. But we can create our principles for living a better and safer life. The most important thing is to learn from our experience, not live in it.

We must learn who to trust and not let the past dictate our future.

Two years from that moment, I found this incident an interesting turning point. It was a harsh and brutal journey. It was a slap on my face on how I'd been living, and without it, I'd probably be living with the same old mindsets and haven't grown at all.

I've become a better person because of it.