Become better at asking for help : 3 common myths that are holding you back from becoming your best.

I need help, but I’m afraid to ask. What should I do?

Asking for help can be a daunting task for many people. It is natural to feel hesitant when we need to ask for assistance, as it makes us vulnerable and fears that asking for help would make us appear incompetent. Some are worried about burdening and inconveniencing others, while others are afraid of rejection or being judged.

These fears and concerns can prevent us from seeking help when needed and may even negatively impact our mental health and well-being.

We will explore some common myths about seeking help and provide tips on approaching them.

I don’t want to look incompetent.

"A child learns how to ride a bike from their parents; once they become parents themselves, they pass on the same knowledge to their child.”

People believe they have to be perfect, and asking for help means they’re not. It affects their egos and self-image, and sometimes, even their insecurities. You may not want to ask for help because you don’t want to feel weak or less than others. You may be afraid of how people would think of you, that you are a burden to them.

You’re not a burden. You’re a humble person.

And it’s humble people who will thrive and succeed in life. They are the ones who know their limits and are open-minded enough to accept that they can learn from others. They become more efficient and resilient at their craft.

There was a time when I was struggling to find opportunities to practice my coaching skills. I got an offer to join a senior coach holding a group coaching, which I’d consider a great opportunity for me. Yet, I almost declined that offer purely because I believed I was enough to make it happen by myself. However, my friend reminded me that it’s also my responsibility to know my limits and when to reach out for help. I’m glad I did it.

Being humble is the key to mastery.

But what if we don’t want to disturb others?

I don’t want to burden my friends and family.

Many of us hesitate to ask for help solely because we don’t want to put more pressure on our loved ones.

While this is thoughtful, helping others is rewarding. It’s our way to maintain and strengthen our social connections. It’s also a great feeling to know that we are capable of helping our friends and family. On the other hand, when we isolate ourselves, people may feel that we don’t trust them. This can fire back our good intentions, making them feel distant from us and slowly breaking our connection with others. True friends and family often want to be there for you in good and bad times.

There was a time when stress got me, and I kept all my problems to myself. I wanted to talk with someone, but I felt it was selfish to share my problems with others. My friend checked up later that week, and I shared what happened with her, and she got upset with me.

“Aren’t we friends? “Isn’t that what friends are for?” She said

Open your heart, and you’ll find people already reaching out their hand for you.

But what if they say no?

People tend to take no too personally. Most of the time, No means “No, I can’t help you with this,” not “No, I don’t want to help you.”

It’s fair to be scared of the answer when we consider asking for help. But thing’s going to get awkward when you interpret their answer in a personal way.

Many times, we think that people will always help us if they care about us. But, in reality, there are more factors than that. They may not have time at the moment. They may not have the answer you’re looking for. They may not be emotionally available at the moment.

Here are some tips on dealing with your fear:

• Don’t assume: Read the word as it is. No is No. You don’t need to decipher meanings between lines, which relieves much tension.

• Don’t generalize: You can always reach out to several friends. Just because one of them isn’t available doesn’t mean the other will be the same.

• Ask for resources: Getting Nos doesn’t mean it’s the end. You can always ask if they know someone who can help you or even self-study resources that you can look into.

Remember, you reach out for help to solve your problems, not getting affirmation.